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Editor’s Rant: Is ‘True Blood’ Already DEAD?

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It took a boring weekend back in 2008 for me to finally give HBO’s “True Blood” a real chance. After forcing myself through a handful of episodes, I was finally hooked. It played like a darker side of Twilight, with vampires and shape-shifters unleashing a vicious wrath upon the residents of Bon Temps. There was heavy romance, lots of nudity, and more blood than you could ask for. The characters – based on their counterparts from Charlaine Harris’ novels – were being incredibly well-developed for future arcs.

Flash forward to 2010, show creator Alan Ball and HBO decided to push the envelope with the third season. Nearly every episode ended with a violent, tense, and engaging cliffhanger that made the weeklong wait practically unbearable. We saw Tara bash in Franklin’s head and a twisted sex sequence between Bill and Lorean, among other absolutely horrific moments. It was a horror fan’s wet dream.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

What’s more shocking than the various “holy sh*t moments” of 2010 is how quickly HBO is tanking the beloved franchise. Actually, I think tanking might even be an understatement. Five episodes into season four and I’m tearing my hair out in frustration. I originally planned on writing a brief article detailing just how HBO could save “True Blood” from being drained of all of its lifeforce, but after going over my mental bullet points, I decided that it’s already too late — “True Blood” is DEAD.

They say history repeats itself, so why not learn from it?

It only took five episodes – five long, grueling, boring and idiotic episodes – for HBO to drain the life out of what they built over the previous three years. It’s undoubtedly one of the most popular shows on television (so popular that it took over the San Diego Comic-Con right alongside major properties like Spider-Man and Batman), and also something I guarantee will be DEAD by the end of season five.

So what happened? How did we get here? How did this celebrated adaptation become the pit stain of television in such a flash?

Let’s begin back in September of 2008 where I declared “Heroes” a polished turd. My article pre-dated Entertainment Weekly‘s huge feature piece that oddly detailed all of my points. I have since gone on to refer to it as “Heroes Syndrome,” a coined term that sidesteps “jumping the shark” and references the inherent mistakes made by NBC and the writer’s of the superhero series.

“True Blood” now suffers from “Heroes Syndrome” – and it’s too late to fix it, so I believe.

Filibustering long enough, let’s get to the key points (in no particular order):

1: Everyone on the show is a creature of sorts. In “Heroes” there were a few mutants with superpowers walking among regular humans, until everyone on the show turned into a hero. “True Blood” also began with a few vampires and shape shifters walking among humans, that is until every single person on the show is now somehow connected to the supernatural. This immediately removes the “awe” and “spectacle” that was so strongly emitted in the first three seasons.

2: Nobody dies other than the main arc villains, whom even return in cameo roles (so they’re not quite dead). The best way to keep the audience on their toes is to kill off a main character every once in awhile. NO character should be safe, ever. When Godric was killed, it was one of the biggest WTF’s of the show’s history, until he started appearing again…

3: Much like “Heroes”, good guys become bad guys, and vice versa. The most infuriating flip-flop is between Bill and Eric. The way they change their hair styles and clothing to represent good and bad is nauseating; Eric is now wearing swimming trunks and Bill dressed to the nines. One of the main problems with having every character flip-flop between good and bad is that the audience doesn’t know whom to root for anymore. There’s no underdog, no fear for the characters and no suspense as a result. It’s also a cheap way of attempting to rebuild a romantic connection between characters that’s already run its course (watch, they’ll soon reconnect Sookie and Bill…BARF!). This leads right into…

4: Everyone on the show is in love with everyone. I nearly threw my remote right through the screen when Jason and Jessica almost locked lips in episode S4.E5. One of the best parts of any series is the romantic tension between various characters that’s driven all the way to the series finale (see “Cheers,” “Frasier,” “Entourage,” “House,” “Mad Men,” “Bones,” “X-Files,” “30 Rock,” etc etc etc). The way “True Blood” just drops one arc and inserts a new one is such a slap in the face to the viewer. It shows no respect for the audience and instead puts on display their selfish attempt to create new sexual tension in a fresh form.

5: Much like “Heroes,” adding more and more supernatural characters only means a handful of fresh rules. With all the new rules comes a heft of lazy, lethargic and boring exposition. Season 4 is all talk and no do, completely abandoning everything delivered in the third season.

6: I truly loved how the first three seasons didn’t side with any gender – the show was for BOTH males and females. The new season CLEARLY is focusing on the female demographic overdosing the show with man-pubes, shirtless men and unnecessary romances. Females only make up half of the population. “Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Think, McFly.”

These six points are just a taste of where HBO has gone wrong with “True Blood” and how it’s completely reminiscent of “Heroes”. These two shows share the exact same path and make the exact same mistakes, which is why I declare “True Blood” DEAD.

Say yours below…

Horror movie fanatic who co-founded Bloody Disgusting in 2001. Producer on Southbound, V/H/S/2/3/94, SiREN, Under the Bed, and A Horrible Way to Die. Chicago-based. Horror, pizza and basketball connoisseur. Taco Bell daily. Franchise favs: Hellraiser, Child's Play, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Scream and Friday the 13th. Horror 365 days a year.

Editorials

Six Post-Apocalyptic Thrillers to Watch While You Wait for “Fallout” Season 2

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Despite ancient humans having already overcome several potential doomsday scenarios in real life, post-apocalyptic fiction used to be relatively rare until the invention of the atomic bomb convinced us that the end of the world could be just around the proverbial corner.

Since then, we’ve seen many different stories about the collapse of civilization and the strange societies that might emerge from the rubble, but I’d argue that one of the most interesting of these apocalyptic visions is the post-nuclear America of the iconic Fallout games. A witty satire of American jingoism and cold war shenanigans, it’s honestly baffling that it so long for us to finally see a live-action adaptation of this memorable setting.

Thankfully, Graham Wagner and Geneva Robertson-Dworet’s Fallout TV show isn’t just a great adaptation – it’s also an incredibly fun standalone story that makes the most of its post-apocalyptic worldbuilding. And since fans are going to have to wait a while to see the much-anticipated second season, we’ve decided to come up with a list highlighting six post-apocalyptic thrillers to watch if you’re still craving more Fallout!

As usual, don’t forget to comment below with your own apocalyptic favorites if you think we missed a particularly fun one. And while it’s not on the list, I’d also like to give a shout-out to The Hughes Brothers’ underrated post-apocalyptic action flick The Book of Eli – which I recently covered in its own article.

With that out of the way, onto the list…


6. The Divide (2011)

Xavier Gens may be best known for his memorable contribution to the New French Extremity movement – with the eerily prescient Frontière(s) – but the filmmaker is also responsible for a handful of underrated thrillers that flew under the radar despite being legitimately solid films. One of the most interesting of these flicks is 2011’s The Divide, a single-location exercise in claustrophobic tension.

Telling the story of a group of New Yorkers who find themselves trapped in a bomb shelter after a surprise nuclear attack, this dark thriller is more interested in the ensuing social chaos than effects-heavy physical destruction. And while critics at the time were horrified by the bleak story and cynical characters, I think this mean streak is precisely what makes The Divide worth watching.


5. The Day After (1983)

One of the highest-rated TV films of all time, ABC’s The Day After is one of the scariest movies ever made despite being more of a speculative docu-drama than an actual genre flick. Following an ensemble of families, doctors and scientists as they deal with the horrific aftermath of all-out nuclear war, this radioactive cautionary tale was vital in convincing real-world politicians to review their policies about nuclear deterrence.

In fact, the film is even credited with scaring President Ronald Reagan into changing his mind about expanding the United States’ nuclear arsenal, with this new stance eventually leading to a treaty with the Soviet Union. With a story this powerful, I think it’s safe to say that The Day After is a must watch for Fallout fans interested in the more down-to-earth elements of the apocalypse.


4. The Postman (1997)

If I had a nickel for each unfairly maligned post-apocalyptic epic starring Kevin Costner that was released in the 90s, I’d have two nickels – which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. And while Waterworld has since seen a resurgence in popularity with fans defending it as a bizarrely expensive B-movie, I haven’t seen a lot of discussion surrounding 1997’s more serious vision of a fallen America, The Postman.

Following Costner (who also directed the flick) as a post-apocalyptic nomad who begins to rebuild America by pretending to be a member of the newly reformed postal service, this David Brin adaptation is consistently fascinating – especially if you view the story as a cynical fairy-tale, which was Costner’s original intention.

And while the flick suffers from some goofy dialogue and a bloated runtime, it makes up for this by having directly inspired Hideo Kojima’s Death Stranding.


3. Turbo Kid (2015)

TURBO KID | via Epic Pictures

Turbo Kid may have been billed as an indie Mad Max with bicycles instead of cars, but François Simard, Anouk Whissell and Yoann-Karl Whissell’s comedic throwback to the post-apocalyptic future of 1997 is much more than meets the eye. From quirky characters to madly creative designs, the flick rises above nostalgia bait by being a legitimately fun time even if you don’t get the copious amounts of ’80s and ’90s references.

And despite the horror-inspired ultraviolence that colors the frequent action scenes as we follow a young comic-book fan deluding himself into thinking that he’s a superhero, it’s the childlike sense of wonder that really makes this a treat for cinephiles. It’s just a shame that we’re still waiting on the sequel that was announced back in 2016…


2. Six-String Samurai (1998)

A lo-fi homage to spaghetti westerns and classic samurai films – not to mention the golden age of rock ‘n roll – Six-String Samurai is a must-watch for those who appreciate weird cinema. While I’ve already written about the madly creative vibes that make this such an entertaining flick, I think it’s worth repeating just in case some of you have yet to give this musical fever dream a try.

And appropriately enough for this list, the film was also a source of inspiration for the 3D Fallout games – especially Obsidian’s fan favorite New Vegas. The game even includes a New Vegas Samurai achievement (unlocked by killing enemies with a katana) with a vault-boy illustration modeled after the film’s rendition of Buddy Holly.


1. A Boy and His Dog (1975)

The grisly post-apocalyptic comedy that inspired the original Fallout games, L.Q. Jones’ adaptation of Harlan Ellison’s novella is just as shocking today as it was back in ’75. Telling the story of a teenage scavenger who travels the wastelands of 2024 America alongside his telepathic canine companion, A Boy and His Dog feels like a Heavy Metal comic brought to life.

While the film’s rampant misogyny and brutal violence make it tough to revisit under modern sensibilities, it’s still a landmark in post-apocalyptic cinema and one hell of a memorable ride. Not only that, but the flick also inspired the creation of Fallout’s most beloved NPC, the ever-loyal Dogmeat.

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